Annie sat down on the bleachers to watch the hurdles, waiting for her mom to call. She had texted her to say that she wanted to watch Cass run the 800 before she left.
Her friend Renaldo, someone she had known for a long time, and even liked a little, sat down behind her. She leaned back into his lap and he started to play with her hair. She tried not to think about how he was feeling, about how she had rejected him not even two weeks ago on the bus, rejected him bad. She turned to look at him, he smiled, and she smiled back. Then her cousin sat down and Renaldo shifted from behind Annie to behind her.
What?
Ideas poured through her mind, but she had no explanation for why he did that. He always chose her over her cousin. It hit her like an atom bomb as her cousin looked up and said innocently, “We’re dating now.” Annie looked at him; he looked away before their eyes could meet. She had really cared about him, maybe even loved him, but… she hadn’t been ready so soon, so soon after Luke. She tried to shake it off, but a tear formed in her eye. Seth sat down next to her, listening to his music. She hastily wiped the tear away so he couldn’t see.
“I’m going for a walk.” Annie announced, mostly to Renaldo. He nodded. Seth jumped up. “Can I come?” he asked as he started to follow her. Annie didn’t really care. She nodded.
She walked towards the woods, almost impervious to Seth walking closely behind her. When she got to the side of the school, she stopped and leaned against the building.
“Dios Mio!” she said, tying to hide her tears, trying to calm down. Seth really didn’t care; he wasn’t thinking about how she felt.
“You look good when you run.” He said, suddenly, looking at her intently. She turned to face him. He was really staring at her. “Real good Annie.”
Her mind raced back to prom: dancing with Juan and Jeff because Juan had made her. He had grabbed her in the middle of a dance; she hadn’t been bold enough to say no. She spent the rest of the night dancing with V… The next day had been a track meet, somewhere kind of far away. She had had to be there at 6. Annie was sitting in the locker room waiting for the bus when Seth came out and laid down: exhausted. Hell… she had been tired too. But, something about how pitifully cute he looked pulled her to him. She gave him a back massage twice that day, he and Jeff had both been trying stuff with her, trying to touch her, kiss her, get her to go somewhere with them and drink that night. She suddenly was getting the feeling that she shouldn’t be alone with him. She really didn’t even know him.
“Let’s go back.” She said to him all of a sudden.
He shook his head. “No.”
“What?” She asked… somewhat stunned.
“I want you, I want to touch you.”
She backed away from him, towards the track; he stepped toward her with a strange look in his eyes, it was then that she saw the five pointed star penned in on his neck. She tried to take a step back but couldn’t move, she was scared. “No, get away from me.” She said, weakly.
He grabbed her and slammed her hard against the wall. Her head started to spin. She hadn’t been handled like this since Luke…she stumbled back into an alcove, staring at him wide-eyed, unable to fight back the memories of Luke’s fists slamming into her, pummeling her with his hits and curses…the memories poured into her mind like a raging flood.
You are worthless. He was right.
The thought flashed in her mind as Seth’s fist connected against the side if her head. He pushed her against the wall with his body, his groping hands touching her chest, her stomach, pulling at her shorts, touching in between her legs. He kissed her, slammed her against the wall again when she tried to move. Kiss, slam, kiss slam. She started to lose the strength to stand, the strength to struggle.
Just let him, let him before he just takes it, like Juan. At that point, she didn’t see the point in fighting.
“Come on Annie,” He said in a rough voice, his hands trying to take her shorts off, her struggling against him. It was almost as if the struggle turned him on. “It’s not fun this way,” he growled, as he pushed his body against hers several times. She could feel how aroused he was; he grabbed her hand, made her feel it. Tried to force her head down on him.
She struggled faintly.
He grabbed her and threw her to the ground. He kicked her and then threw himself down on top of her, his hands ravaging her body. Clawing her.
Let him take it, you’re worthless anyway. A voice… it’s Luke’s—or maybe Juan’s—voice in her head.
“No!” Annie screamed and brought her knee up, kicked him, kneed him in the stomach. He got mad. Punched her in the face, in the stomach. She kicked him again, got him in the face. He grabbed her wrists violently, then pulled himself over her, dropped all of his weight on top of her, trying to make her helpless. She arched her back and knocked him off, kicked him, punched him as hard as she could. He backed away, she tried to get up, he hit her hard in the face; laughing at the blood streaming from her lip. He kicked her again, she fell back down. He laughed low and menacing.
“I will have you, you little whore, puta cabrona, I always get what I want.” He said. Then he walked out towards the track. Annie froze at his words, words that Juan would say. She didn’t even have to think to know Jeff and Juan probably had something to do with the whole thing. A solitary tear slid down her face as she wiped the blood away from her mouth. She got up and walked slowly back to the track; washed her face in the bathroom and watched Seth’s races. 200 meter and 100 meter sprint. He got second in both. She cursed, wanting to wash him off her completely.
It wasn’t right… it wasn’t right at all.
Cass ran a 2:32 for her 800. Annie was happy for her, even though Cass wasn’t; actually, she was almost furious because she didn’t think she was fast enough. Annie suddenly became jealous of her, her simple problems and amazing speed, but then she shrugged the jealousy away…it really didn’t matter to her. Running was just her safe haven, it wasn’t really that important in her life. Not like it was for Cass.
She got up to leave. Juan quickly intercepted her. “Don’t think I forgot.” He said in a low voice. She tried to sidestep him, to get away. He grabbed her already bruising wrist. She flinched. “Because I haven’t. Prom was just the beginning.”
She remembered the dances, how he had touched her, how he looked at her. How she had almost forgotten who he was and how much she hated him. Then she remembered making him look like and idiot when she knocked him over with her dancing. How everyone had laughed.
She dared to look into his eyes, but she couldn’t find any words. She didn’t speak. “Yeah, I haven’t forgot that either.” She tried to back away, his grip tightened on her wrists and he twisted. It hurt, but she tried not to let him see. “Something to remember me by.” He said, barely audible.
She hurried away. Behind her he was laughing.
When she got home, Annie told her mom the meet was great, everything went fine. She covered up the large bruises on her arms with her hoodie. She was getting good at hiding things, a practice perfected by hiding the bruises from Luke.
Tired and emotionally dead she laid down in her room, trying not to cry. “Are you okay Annie?” Her mom asked worriedly, “Yeah, mom. I’m just tired ‘cause of the run.” Her mom nodded compassionately and shut of the light.
Despite her attempt to stay awake, Annie fell asleep.
The initiation left me bruised and bloody, it hurt more than any fight I’d ever been in with Mark. “I’ll never hurt you.” His voice, his promise lay dead in my ears. He had been the first one to hit me.
I listened, he was talking to the big guy about me, and I wanted to know what they were saying.
“Yeah, she’s tough alright. Didn’t make a noise. She’ll do.” The guy said to Mark. He nodded. “Yeah?” He seemed happy.
“Not to mention, she looks good. Real good. It’s a pity you didn’t let us do the dice…she could have gotten a two. Then it could have been you and me.” He said in a low hoarse voice. I saw Mark’s satisfied expression change to anger. “She’s mine.” He half growled at him. “I’m not kidding Juan, she’s my girl. Mine. Alone.”
“For now.” The guy who he called Juan said. He started coming towards me. Mark followed, a little warily. “What’s your name girl?” he asked me, not very nicely.
“Annie.”
He smiled and touched my face. I flinched, not only because of the pain, but because of his touch. It was cold. Mark took a step back, his expression dark and unreadable.
That was the beginning.
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